just had sex with a midget and didnt wrap it... were totally gonna have a tv show :)
Apparently telling a group of crying girls that it looks like they need a visit from Dr. Phil isn't the best pickup line.
Reggie can tackle my bush.
he came up my nose again i swear he does this just to piss me off
She's been divorced three times and use to raise cock fighters. Of course I'm interested in her
It's like the bermuda triangle of cat puke
Btw: some husbands are not impressed by me trying to snap photos of their wives camel toe.
Will give head in exchange for a Netflix password. Serious inquiries only please.
We really gotta change brands again because 2-ply is making us feel like the celebrities we aren't.
not even kidding I just received the single most greatest head I have ever had.. It was unreal. It was like stick my dick into a silk bag of puppy ears.
I have just found the cubicle of sustenance. And I will rejoice at all the families that have not found this magic. This vodka cubicle of magic.
ill be home in an hour. Be in my bed ready for disappointment
So I paid Bumble $10 to see who liked my profile for a month. Cheap, easy dick. It's all about the economics, yo.
I missed you last night. I'm sure he will never forget the night i sang my heart will go on into his penis like a microphone
In the past year, I've fucked 3 Dave's and you've fucked 2 Dave's. That's a lot of Dave's in our vaginas.
We need to start a soap opera called the Dave's of Our Lives.
Randomize
