so it turns out you can rearrange the letters in "scottsdale" to spell "milf city." who knew?
I feel like this woman may give her husband a hand job mid way through dinner. just saying.
so whenever I text yeah my phone automatically corrects it to yeahhhheeehhyeahyeahh .. too much party in the USA?
I'll go out only because I know the starving children in third-world countries would frown upon us if we let an hour of free sangria go to waste...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently I'm the guy that didn't get the memo that Afliction and wifebeaters were the proper attire for tonight... so I'll just sit here alone in my sweatervest and be judged.
Class is significantly more awkward when you know that your teacher knows what you look like with your legs behind your head... Just saying.
I seriously dont think i have ever ridden a horse sober.
I'd really appreciate it if we could dress up as pilgrims and indians for the thanksgiving eve bar crawl
My near death experience also doubled as my coming out story
they all just nodded
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Swear to god, if I have to wingman for you on my honeymoon I'm gonna be pissed
at wine tasting. Can i cleanse my Palate with a frito?
I can't name a single part of my body that isn't sore. Who says break up sex is bad sex?
Oh my god there are animals here. There are actusal animals trying to get him. A giraffe is trying to get in. A giraffee is trying to get in. Is ridiculouss.
He has great taste in girls. I feel closer to my Eskimo sisters than my real sister...
I want to wait until after I get laid before I ask him his political affiliation. Just in case. I'm so desperate I would bang a Republican
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