There's a 34yo winking at me. Why do i find this weird when my bf is a 38yo married man?
how do i say, "my ex is going to be at this party so don't look like shit" without sounding like a bitch?
Sorry for punching you in the face last night. I should have known the boxing gloves were a bad idea from the start.
Until you wake up with a Hustler club stripper in the next room whose nipple you were coerced to lick at Snake & Jake's after breaking up a fight between an Indian and a Filipino, I don't wanna hear about your weird.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And drunk me decided to play keep away with sober me's dignity
My last two google searches are "shiny things" and "Ohio consent laws." you should visit more often.
All I know is that your reaction after this date with him was "I think I did cocaine" so I'm sold on this boy
I can HEAR him staring at your boobs.
I just want school to he over so we can build a big tent, do drugs inside it, and watch cartoons until the sun comes up.
That's all I've ever wanted.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In other news there is a guy at my office who I'm pretty sure will be wearing someone's skin as a coat one day.
I don't want to flatter myself but after the way he was looking at me today I think it might be me.
then she lifted her dress, tweaked her own nipples, and then ordered another round for everyone. this place is wild at 9pm.
I sang him a lovely rendition of 'So Long and Thanks For All the Fish", but replaced fish with dick.
Sex in your truck helped me start regaining feeling in my jaw. Thanks!
Have you ever eaten pizza and gotten your dick sucked at the same time? Because I have pizza.
How is it that I can make it to my 8am Friday morning still drunk after passing out the night before...but not to my 9am on Tuesday that I went to bed early for? Irony or karma?
Randomize