Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
he just said he'd buy the porn
its a step up from the last guy
I'm in my boyfriends bathroom and I shit so bad, there was no toilet paper but his mom's clothes were on the floor and I wiped my butt on her underwear... now it looks like she sharted
What are the odds of finding the one hot Australian dude with erecile dysfunction?
If we see one freshman that cummed on me, we are leaving.
HEAR YE, HEAR YE! BY ROYAL DECREE, I WILL BE KNOCKING ON YOUR DOOR AT 2PM UNLESS YOU GET THE FUCK UP. IT'S 1:50. CIGARETTE TIME, BITCH. I LOVE YOU.
I'm going to go out on a limb and say last night was a success, also the neighbors are counting down the days until we move out.
I think my staff loses a little bit of respect for me every time you're in town. I may have to puke at work ...again.
Let me refresh your memory. New Year's Eve in the back of my car you grabbed my hand and said feel my tumor on my butthole and at that moment I swear we were infinite
Highlight of my night: you taking that shot of garlic butter and then throwing the empty container down on the stairs and saying FUCK.
I feel like im becoming the girl who only drunk texts him. I would be in the dog house, if situations like this had dog houses.
I just want nice things and good sex
What are your thoughts toward getting nasty in a minivan?
Wore a burger king crown while giving head still drunk this morning #blessed
The only thing that makes a night with half a bottle of cheap vodka is the other half of that bottle of cheap vodka.
Randomize
