when she was 9 she got kicked out of our 4-H camp dance for pole dancing on the spirit stick
You spent about half an hour trying to convince me that mesh condoms were a good idea.
trying to line up a DD for St Pats Day. i guarantee i will put out. or puke and pass out. really its 50/50 at this point.
I left you pizza on the porch. I didn't want to wake you, if you were passed out on the bathroom floor again. Sorry if it's cold.
All is not lost. The bondage chair came with repair seals and glue. It's like the knewwwwwww this would happen.
all i remember of last night is that i was drinking jameson and then NOTHING i do remember walking a dog though\nwhich is sooo fucking weird
OH MY GOD ITS COMING BACK I PUT THE DOG IN THE HOTTUB TOO
We are there now. They have a giant cock and balls with an eagles face and wings.
can't decide if i look like a hooker or a missing member of Poison today
Dude, my ex girlfriend showed up, bought me a tequila shot, made out with me and then disappeared into the night. Then her current girlfriend saw, so she came over and slapped me and then I made out with her too
This was before halftime
I RUINED A LESBIAN RELATIONSHIP BEFORE HALFTIME
I don't need to know how horny your mother is, hun.
Don't act like you're a victim to marijuana
Okay so I've been talking to the mice again and they agree with me that you're a piece of shit.
As a rule...I don't sleep with my friends or watch movies with talking dogs
4 pharmacies and not one had Plan B. If this is gods way of telling me it's time for a child, he can fuck off.
I fucked her with a giant balloon tied to my dick. You tell ME how my night went
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