I'm in the mood to be taken advantage of ;-)
so i asked him why he doesn't wanna see me anymore and he said he was questioning his sexuality. cool.
I think I found my soulmate. This guy in front of me is yelling about getting laid while holding two beers and texting. I think this is love.
I cannot believe you needed a note to remind yourself to ask me about the fourteen sleeping Mexicans.
And now we have yet another reason to never travel to Detroit
Our cab driver just admitted to beating up kids in the 60's who didn't smoke pot...
He just used my bikini trimmer to give himself a fumanchu. And I still plan on having sex with him tonight. This has to be what true love feels like.
Escaped ambulance. Meet me at your apartment.
If I come back covered in mud topless and banging on your door, please have a warm towel ready for me
well as your friend its only fair to offer my cock for your services. Cause I care.
I come back home for break and my room is full of weed either my parents really love me or they are having more fun then I am in college
Not sure if it's my shorts, hat, shoes, hair or soul but one of the above just got me drunk again from the glorious aroma of Keystone Light.
I could just tape a camera with a live feed to my head & you could check in on me from time to time
Sorry this is the worst night of your life and that you're being a baby about it.
He gives me the same feeling I get when someone puts a margarita or German chocolate cake in front of me
Randomize
