I have nothing to say, just wanted ur phone to vibrate
also referred to as T.P.S. (Toddler Penis Syndrome)
he just said he'd buy the porn
its a step up from the last guy
if i hurry i can finally have sex while stoned off my ass
godspeed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she takes plan B like it's going out of style
spring break forecast: sunny with a chance of shitshow
Totally just locked myself outside of my house, in my robe, with the fedex man and a box of sex toys. Not my week.
My roommate made me go home after I mooed at fat girls at the gas station.
i remember going to sleep after the 4th time i threw up this morning and hoping i didn't have to again because then it would be uneven between saturday and sunday. my ocd is getting out of control
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Last time Jon threw a party I woke up on my porch, no shirt but 4 bras on, and "make better life choices" written on my stomach in sharpie
Have you ever eaten pizza and gotten your dick sucked at the same time? Because I have pizza.
I just put a pill up my vagina. It was little like a quail egg. There is so much happening up there right now.
Alan said you can come over and eat me out anytime you want, as long as we give him enough notice to hide in the closet before we arrive
We are bad people. This is why we are friends. <3
like sometimes I wish I was allergic to latex so I wouldn't have sex with so many people..
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