I just put lube in Matt's bellybutton. He looks unhappy.
I feel like I got hit by a truck made out of Jack Daniels.
Its mothers day and I have choke marks around my neck. Thanks for that.
you're thinking of things to pack this weekend and you think Don King wig?
When I said 'i love my boyfriend' I didn't mean 'send me a picture of your penis'.
My roommate said I banged on the wall and said, "this dude eats pussy like a champ."
Cause a man that looks THAT good must have an ass that tastes like lucky charms
I woke up in a strange bathroom. Was I blonde when you left me last night?
We can't go out this weekend. My uterus is so desperate it's given me permanent beer goggles
The angle I tried to shoot a load on her face was unfortunate. I accidentally came on the David Bowie tribute she had out. Oddly, that made it more erotic.
I just want cinnabon and vodka.
If that guy asks u bout me, I said my name is Jenelle, from CT, I'm a cat behiavor consultant and I'm 29. Back my story up
Oh the best part of having sex with him was that he made me a smoothie after
its not even a love triangle. its a love square and it has come back to haunt me
We got high, had sex, and watched retro scooby doo shows. Best friends with benefits yet.
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