The best thing happened. Some guy was butchering Conway Twitty at karoke and the power went off in the whole bar. And someone shouted "you pissed jesus off when you messed with conway!"
I went down on her for at least a half hour, She loved it, so I thought she'd recip. She said "I only do that if I know I'm getting something out of it."
SHUT IT DOWN.
high people should be assigned attendants
opening your purse in class to grab a pen only to find dollar bills and pink fuzzy handcuffs instead...that's a cool feeling
I hope the dean has a raincoat on because I'm prolly gonna throw up on him when I get my degree
I had to jump out of her car while it was moving enough said
I got woken up by a construction worker, turns out I was laying in a hallway, naked and wrapped in a matress pad. To answer your question no, I did not study for this test I got David Hasselhoff drunk
scream really loud. we think you crawled under the deck
Also- bikini mowing was a horrible idea. One truck just drove by 3 times, turning around at the end of the block each time. My tan may be better for it but my conscience has been raped.
The gay is strong with you! You're more concerned about my outfit than my safety.
"YOU ALWAYS BEEN A HOE YOU ALWAYS GONE BE A HOE. THAT'S JUST THE WAY IT'S GONE BE." overheard at temple
I continue to impress myself. Also I'm probably pregnant
Checked my bank account this morning...apparently I went to 7-11 at 4am and spent $22 on taquitos. New all time low for me.
I ate all of them. New all time low for ME.
Maybe it’s too soon to casually tell the boss that I went to Tulsa for some dick last night
What a weekend. It started with me realizing i might not be straight and ended with me spraining my foot.
Randomize