We even fucked WHILE he was making me breakfast in bed.
we were frolicking through a fountain of pizza rolls. it was like the best dream i ever had
I started the year with 2,800 dollars and am now down to 83 dollars-one of which i use to snort my focalin. I have given up on food and am perplexed as to how I can make 82 dollars last more than two weekends for booze
it's great music for shaving your balls
Has now officially visited every ER in this city in one semester.
Just had a random flashback of you tickling some guy's nipple with your claw ring, and then him moaning and stripping in the middle of the bar. You give good memories.
So I found "Fat chicks in saran wrap" in my search history.
That's all you talk about when you are wasted.
Thats not how it works. You get the Rachel, and then Rachel kicks you out. Don't linger or try to cuddle, its just pathetic and makes me look down on you and your penis
Technically he's married but he says it's "not like that" even tho his wife lives with him. Not sure if I believe him but I'm sleeping with him anyway.
The dorm caught on fire so it turned into a 5am pool party
I just did a jell-o shot with my grandmother. I can die now..
SHUN THE NONBELIEVERS. THUS SAYS THE NIPPLE LORD
The chances of me making out with someone next weekend are about the same as me not remembering it.
You'd be proud. Took my birth control today at 12:30 with a Budweiser. Guy across the bar saw and held his bottle up to salute me 😂
So I think my neighbor's name is Olli if I'm hearing the girl the girl he's fucking clearly
Randomize
