Kiss
Puke
you looked like a weeble wobble. everytime we thought you were going to fall you bounced back up...you're an amazing drunk
Is it weird that we showed each other our pussy's and pointed out the good and bad things about each others??
Gross thing of the day...i got cum in my new boots
I'm at the grocery store, it's 10 am and the woman in front of me just bought 3 boxes of wine. She turned around and told me not to be afraid
I made him tell me how he proposed to his wife before I'd bang him. I have a problem.
pouring popcorn down my shirt before we went to the bar was the best idea ever. it was delicious and convenient.
Being drunk at the hospital is better than i expected. I got to hide and play in the little kids waiting area. Btw no one is hurt
No one understands that once a girl pours a handle of smirnoff all over herself, clearly she is wasted
he just used "boss" and "boner" in the same sentence. I cant respond.
she brought my homemade cookies with condoms taped to the box... im in love
Too much alcohol and too many lesbians. I can officially say I have regrets now. At least that's something.
Your the only person to come back from spring break with a non std related infection
I feel like dick that good should always be within a five kilometre radius of me.
I realize that my conversation topics seem to only be about bees and my cross dressing fiance. Thank you for being my friend.
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