Plan B is the new Plan A
you should have heard her the other night. no sentence related to one preceding it. it was like she was in etch a sketch and when she moved she forgot everythin
woke up to an overdrawn credit card. did you order the dawsons creek boxset last night?
i hope so.
his dick got so hard in his pants and it broke his zipper
Ran into that hot funeral director in the bar two days after the wake. pretty sure we drunk made out.
Grandpa would have been proud
The size of her vagina has nothing to do with the size of her heart bro
I hope your perfect outfit is a slutty power rangers outfit. That's been my dream wedding since I was a kid.
Me and him getting it in is for special occasions only. Like Christmas and when they bring the McRib back.
There's hot sauce all over my mirror, lamp shade and dresser. Also it's your turn for weed
This guy is clearly nuts his idea of a hangover cure is a six pack poured into a camelpack then hiking 3 miles with a weighted vest. He said "learned it in the army i guess drink beer beat the heat"
No gifts needed, but if you have fireworks or weed that'd be good.
Bring me a cialis. .. I feel like having a super dick today
His acid is intense dude. I was just over at his place laughing about the hole in the wall I was convinced was a cat
She threw my purse across the room almost broke a lamp and this all started bc she forgot what an air mattress was
but next to his bed he has a bible, and on the bible he has a pbr coaster and a condom. how can i stay mad at that? Its amazing.
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