yeah I know. she is a stupid fat trailer trash bitchwhore and I hate her
but when she came up to me in the bar I had to be all like "OMG HEYYY how are you, I haven't seen you in foreverrrrr!!"
but for the record, yeah, I hope she gets mauled by a bear and dies
How am I supposed to spread my seed with you "modern women" and your birth control?
no, i dont want the owner to like me bc i dedazzled my vagina
Is it bad that now when i read ingredients in the food I eat i only read it as shrooms instead of mushrooms ?
Is it bad that on the course evaluation it said "do you normally try harder than other students in class" and i circled "absolutely false"?
I'm glad you trust me to be your sex stat keeper.
Now have a vodka water and get your shit together
Bad idea to be in a car concussed. I just described his dick as an elevator. I think i meant escalator, i dont know
I lost the bet. I now have to do all chores sans clothing of any kind. I give it a week before I'm knocked up...
scratch that I can tell you where she is shes drunk on a beach somewhere being a penis slayer
Another development in my life...I think I pulled a muscle in my neck from vomiting this weekend.
That's how all the girlfriends are. Oh he's a boy, no worries, then BAM. I blow their boyfriend.
I just want some dick and chicken fingers please advise
You ran out of his house yelling "I got the goods!" Then you pulled toilet paper rolls out from under your shirt.
He was super adorable, like I wanna pinch his cheeks while I fuck him...
Randomize
