Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(813): View more from Florida

Never eat 3 McGriddles and drink a carton of milk. It's like you're successfully killing self but you're alive.

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(561): View more from Florida

hey got me stoned for the first time when i was 14. there is no bond stronger

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(443): View more from Maryland

I know i should have focused more on what you were saying in the text rather than the fact you spelt "suicidal" wrong

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(647): View more from Ontario

making my second box of kraft dinner for the day. thinking about telling him how much you cheat on him so that you end up having to spend valentines day with me. i'm sorry its every man for himself.

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23 Parents Gave Awful Advice about “The Birds and the Bees”
Read it at the TFLN blog
(334): View more from Alabama

Yeah I'm a responsible adult man but I legally unbind myself from anything that occurred that evening and am in no way responsible for those actions.

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(562): View more from California

Nothing screams fatass like a pizza that doesn't fit in your car

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(+44): View more from United Kingdom

As I was about to go to sleep he asked me if I was ready to 69. HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK AT HIM IN THE FACE OVER DINNER TOMORROW

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(865): View more from Tennessee

Oh my god. We just got locked out of our cabin and went to the neighbor's to see if they had a key and caught the neighbor jerking it. My night > your night

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(732): View more from New Jersey

You've discovered your super power: Your Vagina

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