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• (902): View more from Pr Edwrd Is, Nva Sctia

  So the bouncer told me I could leave the easy way or the hard way. I told him I was going to make him earn his 10 bucks that hour.

  (416): View more from Ontario

  Apparently you chose the latter.

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• (303): View more from Colorado

  and next time when you feel me up, do it right

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• (334): View more from Alabama

  I told a kindergarten student that candy canes are bones of reject elves.

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• (973): View more from New Jersey

  if I see one grey pube I'm spitting his penis out!

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  Is This New Dating App Elitist…Or Genius?

  Read it at the TFLN blog
  

• (514): View more from Quebec

  He asked me how my body knew that a month was up when it was time for my period.

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• (704): View more from North Carolina

  I caved and texted him. But it's strictly drug dealing business so it doesn't count.

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• (774): View more from Massachusetts

  im vomiting on the 4th floor cause no one knows me there

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• (347): View more from New York

  He said he loved me so I pretended not to hear it because I don't think "I love your penis" was the response he was looking for.

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• (972): View more from Texas

  The camera shows a viking with a white mask, a creepy green guy, a gorilla, and a pumpkin throwing eggs and laundry detergent in his yard

  (972): View more from Texas

  OHHH and there was a Batman too.

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  Stay Away From These 29 Online Dating Red Flags

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• (570): View more from Pennsylvania

  Just made a Xanax and ginger ale smoothie. Oh Thursday you are good to me..

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• (907): View more from Alaska

  I awoke this morning alone and naked in my bed I forecast my date later not going so well because I have three giant hickies on my neck there is a note next to my bed that looks a 3rd grader wrote it on my college acceptance letter

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• (502): View more from Kentucky

  I am seriously thinking about wearing a blanket as a cape. So when I pass out tonight the blanket might keep me warm.

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• (440): View more from Ohio

  You have set the bar insurmountably high with apple pie and buttsex.

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• (610): View more from Pennsylvania

  So that prostitue I banged at Steve's bachelor party just texted and invited me to a BBQ at her parents. Never again doubt the power of the cock piercing.

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• (505): View more from New Mexico

  I just dropped a condom on the floor at costco in front of my girlfriend and her husband. Today is not going to go well.

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