I think the only thing that impresses me are nice penises...and Jesus. Jesus would impress me. Especially if he walked on water again.
she's sitting on the other side of the room at this party. with her smirnoff tucked in that little opening between her cleavage and shirt. drinking from a straw. snapping her fingers off beat.
it's love
I have a pussy blister if you wanna poke at it with a needle tomorrow...by this text i realize just how strange our relationship is, especially because you're probably excited
I think you mean your blister is filled with pus...atleast i hope
The more I throw up, the more I am remembering exactly what I drank last night...in order.
10 Things Your Gyno Wants You To Stop Doing To Your Vagina
Woke up this morning 8 levels higher in Call of Duty then when I started drinking... told you I was better when I was drunk.
Ya well my good-girl image was pretty much blown when he found out I'm going to jail soon.
Attn: you have now used your free, one time admission to pleasure town. Thank you for visiting I hope you enjoyed your trip. All future trips to P.T. Will cost you full admission price. We have different pricing plans to accommodate different situations, and remember it is more of a bartering system than a set price. Your patronage is always welcomed and once again thank you for visiting and have a fantastic evening.
Btw after this weekend the chipndales costume has a 125% success rate.
You're about to fuck a guy with a sweatshirt tied around his waist like a mensurating 13 year old. Get your priorities straight, you're graduating tomorrow.
For Some Reason, Boys Are Singing The ‘Halo’ Theme Song In School Bathrooms
perfect irony that i'm celebrating international women's day with a yeast infection
It's gay pride weekend and Father's day.. So in honor of the occassions I am now BI
He's like the unplanned child of drunkenness
We can put you in charge of something
I can be in charge of being more wasted than anyone there so everyone feels comfortable being ridiculous
She just got on the scale. frowned, got off and took off her pants and then got back on
I sent her a video on Snapchat of me cumming, with a Father's Day snap filter that said "#1 Dad".
Randomize
