If I sit on the seam of my jeans just the right way when the bass hits, this might be my new favorite band.
By the way, shout wipes are a gift from god for people that throw up on themselves.
In debating whether or not it's worth getting out of bed and walking 5 feet down the hallway to go to the bathroom before I puke
So I'm probably the first guy in history to tap out of a blowjob.
He passed out on the floor and you kept hitting him in the dick and screaming "hammer of justice".
Shotgunned a beer while taking a bath.
he belly flopped onto the beer pong table, and almost boke his face, so at that point we decided swimming would be safer for him.
Aqua-barf. When you are about to puke in the toilet but pass out face first instead...and then puke. WITH YOUR FACE IN THE BOWL. There is no escaping the puke ring you have on your face. I know first hand.
you were upstairs in your room looking out your window and saw him puking in your bushes outside. you then proceeded to open the window and sing Come To My Window
DR UNK TOWN USA
TEAM USA GO AMERICA
Rush week is fine, only the t-shirts are white and if it rains, the frat boys in their lawn chairs will be treated to 800 freshmen girls in their first wet tshirt contest.
Welcome to college.
You're fucking beautiful as shit and we should have loving sex...
I wish your snatch was here
If my snatch could sprout wings I'd fly to you
I didn't want to hook up with him so I just jumped out of bed, yelled "I don't even believe in god!" and ran out of the room
I'm on the same pooping schedule as a professor I've never had. He now says what's up to me in the hallway