Dear __, it'd be a lot easier to fuck if you ever responded. So I'm throwing in the white towel, since I no longer know what you want. Sincerely, ___
i may not always bang 16 year olds but when i do, i prefer hot ones
This bar is like a mediocre whore house....but free
"fuck a duck" is spelled out in chinese food on my counter... im kind of nervous to search the rest of my house......
I wasted my skinny years on you. The least you can do is high five me at the bar
It's hard to believe so much cum came out of such a small penis.
What do I have to do to get you laid? I talked to that girl with the ugly dog for 45 minutes trying to get you in, and all you said was "Steven Spielberg is my favorite director."
Apparently suggesting that she was the kind of girl who might be expected to kill someone's pets hurt her feelings...
Well the police had to intervene and I couldn't exactly feel my legs by the end of the night, but I'd say it was a successful Friday night.
She looked at me and said "i like penises." and then passed out with her condom balloon animal in her hands.
He was wearing a tux and a big sombrero so it automatically made the flute he was playing totally cool
she broke up with me the week she got divorced. maybe I should grab a beer with her ex
So you drank bourbon with cough syrup?
I still had a cough. It only makes sense
There are both cum and chocolate stains on my sheets. Can't decide whether this is a new low or a new high.
She doesn't even give a fuck about angle. I seriously gotta start doing like penis yoga or something.
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