Totally saw a hot amputee. I think this is called character growth.
im sorry but my first introduction to your dick isn't going to be a pic sent from the men's room
so i turned around to do some reverse cowgirl when he said that this was such a better visual for him. Bad compliment or serious insult. i cant tell
i could totally date him if i was just drunk the whole relationship
Just pulled an upper-decker at a hardware store. I believe I'm winning 8-2. It's obvious you don't shit enough in public.
Was rudely woken up by strangers at 4:15am. I was leaning against the stoplight at 9th
She thought that based on the way she feels that she got drugged last night, but come on, her turn on word is hello, who needs to drug that??
Ill give you a 4 hour blow job if you make my nephew go to bed.
I don't always steal things but when i do it is a six foot five dos equis guy
I got drunk enough that when camel suggested jumping off the pier, I thought it was a fantastic plan. Also my blood hurts.
All three roommates are gay and in women's studies. Ive already been informed that all penetration is rape. This is not the college experience I signed up for.
Dude I broke her toilet blowing some dude. I wasn't going to turn down the 300$ he offered to fix it.
I'm not even pretending to study anymore. I'm straight up sleeping in the library
Just made a diving catch to save a handle of Fireball falling out of the car. ESPN worthy.
I have a 30 pack and enough condoms to last until tomorrow morning. Have Mystery Science Theater 3000 ready. I'm on my way over.