I want to walk on stilts...naked
I think I'm making progress on my commitment issues. I drunk made out with the same guy from last semester this weekend.
APPARENTLY giving your friend one of your shoes so that you avoid the no shoes no service rule makes you drunk...
I ended up taking shots of whiskey and chasing them with potato wedges, I have never felt more Irish
These 33 Eskimo Brothers Boinked The Same Person And Couldn’t Be More Proud
Attention: due to the power outage we will not be playing drinking games and watching the royal wedding. Bring your own bottle and we'll just drink in silence.
He's trying to impress me with how much money he makes. How does he know me so well?
Why doesn't the washer have a puke setting?
Is "when in doubt date the guy with the bigger dick" a good philosophy?
A girl just asked me if we had pregnancy tests and a coworker had to stop me from telling her I was a pregnancy test. THAT is why I don't drink at work.
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
Wanna show up on a guy's doorstep and punch him in the balls for me? At least this one isn't a cop.
I made that picture of you my lock screen. So I've just been standing around at work licking my phone all day.
I'm actually kinda upset that we didn't consider velcro-ing detachable capes to our clothes before this moment.
My walk of shame turned into having to get his dad to tow my best friends car out of the snowbank in his driveway
Oh my god. We just got locked out of our cabin and went to the neighbor's to see if they had a key and caught the neighbor jerking it. My night > your night
This wouldn't be the first time my boss has seen me topless