Never eat 3 McGriddles and drink a carton of milk. It's like you're successfully killing self but you're alive.
hey got me stoned for the first time when i was 14. there is no bond stronger
I know i should have focused more on what you were saying in the text rather than the fact you spelt "suicidal" wrong
making my second box of kraft dinner for the day. thinking about telling him how much you cheat on him so that you end up having to spend valentines day with me. i'm sorry its every man for himself.
23 Parents Gave Awful Advice about “The Birds and the Bees”
Yeah I'm a responsible adult man but I legally unbind myself from anything that occurred that evening and am in no way responsible for those actions.
Nothing screams fatass like a pizza that doesn't fit in your car
As I was about to go to sleep he asked me if I was ready to 69. HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK AT HIM IN THE FACE OVER DINNER TOMORROW
Is selling savings bonds for acid money something a normal person does?
Should I tell this TSA agent his fly is down while he is trying to hit on this chick?
These 19 Deaths Are Ironically Hilarious
I'm hungover laying in my moms bed watching Space Jam.. Adult Life..
Woke up naked on your sister's mattress lying next to a single slice of bread.
Oh my god. We just got locked out of our cabin and went to the neighbor's to see if they had a key and caught the neighbor jerking it. My night > your night
They had an Olympic theme party at her work yesterday. She brought home her fake gold medal and hung it on my cock after she rode me.
I'm officially disproving the fact that a hoe never gets cold bc this hoe is COLD.
You've discovered your super power: Your Vagina