Texts From Last Night

• Favorite

  (314): View more from Missouri

  I just used Master P to describe what sound the letter U makes to my daughter...

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (314): I just used Master P to describe what sound the letter U makes to my daughter... http://tfl.nu/166t
  Replies (36) Good night (2730) Bad night (832)
• Favorite

  (706): View more from Georgia

  I just realized that all of my cardio comes from dancing on tables.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (706): I just realized that all of my cardio comes from dancing on tables. http://tfl.nu/8ikv
  Replies (25) Good night (5233) Bad night (729)
• Favorite

  (651): View more from Minnesota

  He said he wanted to have kids with me so they could grow up to be professional linebackers. Not. A. Complient.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (651): He said he wanted to have kids with me so they could grow up to be professional linebackers. Not. A. Complient. http://tfl.nu/9tdu
  Replies (19) Good night (1245) Bad night (6643)
• Favorite

  (+44): View more from United Kingdom

  Please don't tell me I was shouting "I'm bleeding from my vagina" in front of my ex-boyfriend and his new girlfriend.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (+44): Please don't tell me I was shouting "I'm bleeding from my vagina" in front of my ex-boyfriend and his new girlfriend. http://tfl.nu/nkcl
  Replies (8) Good night (1090) Bad night (5695)
• Favorite

  (702): View more from Nevada

  As she was leaving she said "You have an awesome penis, I hope to use it again soon" I need that on a business card to hand out at the bar

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (702): As she was leaving she said "You have an awesome penis, I hope to use it again soon" I need that on a business card to hand out at the bar http://tfl.nu/w8o7
  Replies (10) Good night (2962) Bad night (734)
• Favorite

  (435): View more from Utah

  For future reference "I'm too drunk to come today" is an acceptable line to get out of work. I love my job

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (435): For future reference "I'm too drunk to come today" is an acceptable line to get out of work. I love my job http://tfl.nu/nykr
  Replies (7) Good night (2258) Bad night (650)
• Favorite

  (240): View more from Maryland

  Passed out mid cig in bed last night. Thank you cough for allowing me legal prescription hydrocodone.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (240): Passed out mid cig in bed last night. Thank you cough for allowing me legal prescription hydrocodone. http://tfl.nu/49no
  Replies (7) Good night (490) Bad night (1026)
• Favorite

  (404): View more from Georgia

  I drew a giraffe.. But she did say that bumped that test up from a 39 to a 40. It's the little things.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (404): I drew a giraffe.. But she did say that bumped that test up from a 39 to a 40. It's the little things. http://tfl.nu/rlo1
  Replies (3) Good night (1141) Bad night (413)
• Favorite

  (405): View more from Oklahoma

  No foreplay. Missionary. Too quick. And he owns a fedora.

  (405): View more from Oklahoma

  I almost fell asleep reading that.

  (405): View more from Oklahoma

  I almost fell asleep fucking it.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (405): No foreplay. Missionary. Too quick. And he owns a fedora. (405): I almost fell asleep reading that. (405): I almost fell asleep fucking it. http://tfl.nu/v47a
  Replies (5) Good night (649) Bad night (1102)
• Favorite

  (404): View more from Georgia

  Literally just inhaled three cinnamon rolls. Sara is staring. It was inhuman

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (404): Literally just inhaled three cinnamon rolls. Sara is staring. It was inhuman http://tfl.nu/khf9
  Replies (2) Good night (534) Bad night (307)
• Favorite

  (250): View more from British Columbia

  Some guy Just sang about my ass on the street

  (250): View more from British Columbia

  It was terrible lyrics but I would have thrown my life savings into that guitar case if I had any.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (250): Some guy Just sang about my ass on the street (250): It was terrible lyrics but I would have thrown my life savings into that guitar case if I had any. http://tfl.nu/mi10
  Replies (1) Good night (885) Bad night (463)
• Favorite

  (902): View more from Pr Edwrd Is, Nva Sctia

  It would have been nice to break the dry spell with nice, civilized, sober sex somewhere other than on my friend's couch.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (902): It would have been nice to break the dry spell with nice, civilized, sober sex somewhere other than on my friend's couch. http://tfl.nu/pix9
  Replies (2) Good night (617) Bad night (382)
• Favorite

  (386): View more from Florida

  Post breakup Disney World may be my best idea ever! Tinkerbell just grabbed my dick and gave me a kiss! This really is the happiest place on earth!

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (386): Post breakup Disney World may be my best idea ever! Tinkerbell just grabbed my dick and gave me a kiss! This really is the happiest place on earth! http://tfl.nu/wrvh
  Replies (6) Good night (1431) Bad night (363)
• Favorite

  (323): View more from California

  There is a drunken, assless white chick here at this bar wearing a shirt that says "REAL WOMEN TWERK FOR JESUS". I have officially had it with our generation.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (323): There is a drunken, assless white chick here at this bar wearing a shirt that says "REAL WOMEN TWERK FOR JESUS". I have officially had it with our generation. http://tfl.nu/bbsf
  Replies (4) Good night (464) Bad night (854)
• Favorite

  (760): View more from California

  Night one million where I have madri gra beads around my neck and no justifiable reason for where they came from

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (760): Night one million where I have madri gra beads around my neck and no justifiable reason for where they came from http://tfl.nu/it2o
  Replies (7) Good night (413) Bad night (192)

Randomize