90 In a 65. Talked my way out of it with the i have to poop story. i am the ticket jesus
Just saw a motorized bathtub. I think this college thing is gonna work out.
I pulled my tongue muscle last night. your welcome.
the size of his penis is telling me NOOO! but his bank account is telling me YESSS!
Def regretting not writing "will blow for extra credit" on my last final
I was afraid that she would smell her boyfriend's penis on my breath while we were talking.
I found a lucrative side business - giving rides home to drunk oil executives. Very profitable.
He's only going to be gone for two weeks
That's two months in gay whore years.
Should we buy the taco bell before hand? Not having taco bell on Quattro de mayo isn't a risk I'm willing to take
It's pathetic. My bed hasn't been this sexless since it was in bedmart.
He told me he doesn't want to fuck anymore because he needs to focus on school. Either he grew a vagina or he's secretly gay, it has to be one of the two.
"willing to pay anyone fun whos willing to hang out and laugh at my jokes while my friends are MIA" is this to desperate?
So I've been in more fights on one leg than I've had on two.
I was drunk, he was taking a bodyshot while avoiding my piercing. I told him I loved him. He waited until I woke up with my hangover to say he loved me too. It was hangover magic.
We played 2 very competitive games of Jenga and then fucked our brains out... BEST. RELATIONSHIP. EVER.
Randomize
