Hoooooo maaaaan
Yes?
I'm retarded. Again.
The guy asked if i had a problem w/set schedules
omh. i just found SHIT IN THE SHOWER! who the fuck does that? and why do i always seem to find it?
Just taught my suite how to queef. I feel like i'm back in 9th grade!
Was finally able to jerk off without the motion giving me a migraine. Think my hangover's getting better.
Right now im sitting at home and all i can think about is im eating calories and i should be out drinking them.
I was so scared, I actually heard my grandmother's voice in my head saying if I get pregnant, then my vagina will fall off. And then I'm going to die.
and thats when we got a drunken mammogram in the middle of cvs pharmacy
Is it possible to just pretend that everything we did after grilling up your goldfish didn't happen?
How do we turn this unicorn pinata into a bong?
I should've been more social I guess. I feel bad not meeting the people who willingly sucked alcohol out of my navel...
Just puked off the 5th floor onto a car windshield. This is my life and I'm proud of it.
Remember last time I drank with my mom? I asked if I got my dick sucking abilities from her.
Just tried to dig out holes in my mattress for my boobs so I could be comfortable lying down on my stomach
long story short, the bouquet was used as a sacrificial torch
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