I always see him when I'm wearing my ripped pants. I think its because of the hole in the crotch. My vag sends out supersonic "I'm horny" waves to him. Otherwise the calls are muffled.
I never thought I would get head to the lion king soundtrack
i drunkenly decided i was going to take down all the male cheerleaders, gay or not. 1 down about 10 more to go.
True as that may be, are you coming to the birth of my imaginary child or not?
Did I tell you I had a charge show up for $36 on a credit card I haven't used in 6 months from Wild Wings? It was that night we slept across the street from the bar.
There are work activities and non work activities and dunking my head in a bucket of ice water pulling it out and shotguning a beer is certainly not a work activity
You tried to initiate "Occupy McDonald's" when the cashier didn't give you enough ketchup.
He snapchatted me his dick and he's circumcised....BRB going to hug his Mom
At first I was horrified but then he explained that he shave a "soul patch" on his balls... And I was still horrified, but I went with it.
I would rather you cheat on me then you watch this season of Breaking Bad without me.
Turns out he has a 6pack too. Alright adorable snapchatting manwhore dude, you win.
she walked through the crowd, completely naked, slapped a pool attendant in the face and stole the towel he was carrying. she used it to dry her hair.
Well, he kept asking me if I was going to murder him once we got upstairs. It sort of killed the mood.
My dad accidentally texted me asking if I had weed...
Maybe you should say yes, and you guys can like bond or something...
the guy had "bad bitches only" tattooed above his penis...
Randomize
