sooo i think when i get back from rothbury i should probably take a pregnancy test
but you would be showing by now. i'd just save the money and wait for a large crap in 6 months that starts crying. then you'll know.
If you win this game of words with friends, ill suck you off for 30 minutes. No lie.
I cant last that long. Do i get the rollover minutes?
just found his boxers balled up inside my tights, hidden in my freezer. damn i love college.
Long labias. Talking about. Too drunk to explain. Tomorrow.
I tried to fuck this guy who I'm pretty sure has an erectile dysfunction
drunk waterpark is besst waterpark.
New rule. No seeing movies about plane crashes after killer bong rips
I believe I can fly has to be one of the most inspirational songs of our time. Seriously R. Kelly nailed it
Then he went and peed on those teenagers.
Is it just me or does the sex still keep getting better? I wasn't crying, my eyes just watered from how hard I was cumming.
I want to name my colorful bowl Batman. Why? I still have yet to figure it out. But I'm calling it Batman.
Two guys I banged regularly got married this week. I need vodka.
It feels appropriate that the wallet of my high school and college years would die at the hands of a spilled bong. Which in and of itself is a solid metaphor for those years.
I think he fucked my hip out of place.
He was semi blacked out in the hallway with a bucket, calling for me while I had sex with his best friend in the very next room. Why do you let me do these things?
My hands smell like vagina and ham.
Randomize