Do u have any bacon or vodka by chance
I totes stole your whore crown.
With great power comes great responsibility.
Now I have to picture Dave Letterman having sex with all these women. Im the real victim.
How did your new apartment party go last night?
I'm really happy i have a bigger bathroom to puke in.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the taxi driver actually pulled over to let us moon a house full of people
At the same time. Hot men feeding me brownies. In between rounds of sex.
We almost forgot to tip the maids, so we left the rest of the gin, some tonic water and a lime. They earned it
its 4am. im standing over him in my bed eating chinese food, on the phone with dan trying to convince him to break up with his gf. whoredom.
Oh just chilling alone with a stranger baby while everyone else clambakes the bathroom. Probation is the reason there is bad things in the world.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
NO I WOULD NOT GET A GUMMER FROM A GRANDMOTHER
All I really remember is thinking that the music looked like beautiful lizard waves in my head
I am walking funny today. And it's sad because it's from the bad encounter with the sidewalk rather than a good encounter with a stripper
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST
I hate how she's getting mean with age
Meh, you can't hate. That's our basic life goal and you know it.
My hook-up from last week somehow found me at the club, saw the girl I was trying to fuck, kissed me right in front of her, and walked off.
Randomize