I hope I'm pregnant just to spite you.
Good. You are like the clit whisperer.
Fuck him tonight for the both of us. We're still tag-teaming in spirit.
He picked me up from the airport wearing nothing but a trench coat and a bow on his dick
come back what if one of your parents walks in and im just sitting here eating a cheesesteak without you
She swung at the pinata with crutches
Fuck morning classes and our weekday drinking habits.
I think I kinda scared him when I told him if he premature ejaculated I would punch him in the throat.
After he finished he proceeded to check my boobs for breast cancer.
WHY DID YOU NOT OFFER TO LET HIM STAY
Dude, it's like you want him inside me more than i do
Girl, he's like catnip for my pussy.
Do you know how fucking great a bath bomb is when you're high?
I made him cum so hard he couldn't play video games for like an hour. I've never been more proud of myself.
woke up with 8 used magnum condoms bound together by floss around my neck, thats about all im gonna tell you.
An old Grimace plushie came to life and gave me a pretty knife. I'm never doing acid again.
Randomize
