Just figured out how to smoke weed with a toaster.
I had to move some guys boxers out of the dryer. This is the closest I'll be getting to dick this month.
last night i found out that my 11 year old cousin used me as an example of what not to do in her D.A.R.E. speech. awesome.
Every time she shows up on my newsfeed, I get the taste of tequila in my mouth.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
if you are still a virgin by winter break we are throwing an aztec themed sacrifice the virgin party
What do you think french fries on pizza would taste like?
i already know. Delicious. Use ranch.
well shes beginning to earn a reputation as "the girl who tries to bone her hook ups in the ass with a pickle"
We found her on the doorstep. Just layin down going, "I made it home!! Aren't you proud??!"
it's my favorite when the couple downstairs are having sex so loud that i feel like I'm part of a threesome
second-hand sex is fun, isn't it?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Any chance the bar is open now? Also who's wedding is this?
If he sends me a dick pic so help me god.
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST.
How dare you not respond to me after opening up a picture of my bare breasts
Public service announcement: Just bc it is Margarita Monday does NOT mean your stomach will readily accept that much alcohol. There IS a reason it isn't called Magical Monday. On that note, better luck on Tequila Tuesday.
You threw up everything but your ovaries.
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