Thats something to write home to mom about
Dear Mom, I had sex last nt w a girl that liked to b choked. Im n love. Cant wait for you to meet her
your dick doesn't do me any good in arizona
you announced to the whole room that instead of shaving you were planning to start straightening and then braiding your pubes. awkward silence followed by everyone leaving.
He woke up next to me, said I "wasn't naked enough" and fell back asleep. I proceeded to blow him.
just woke up to find an unpeeled banana, with a condom on, halfway into my vagina. this better not be you trying to be funny
No, the weekend was great. It was the waking up in the pond in the raft without an oar that sucked. That fucking water is cold at 7am.
I whipped my shit out and she just stared at it with a mean face. It was like a face off in a heavyweight boxing fight.
Well my friend Jon slept on the couch and I slept next to my cooked lean pocket on the carpet
We have such limited time together he literally sends me text messages that are like "I sent my roommates on an impossible quest, we have 15 minutes." it's that bad.
I think we need to dedicate ourselves to building your stamina back to uterus breaking level
I saw a kitty kat get finger blasted on the couch by a Bulls player
I think one of your friend's offered my friend chicken tenders back at his place...just FYI he should probably come up w/ another line
I refuse to believe this is a lapse in my dick hunting skills. It's gotta be the gods playing a game.
You're so sweet in the most vulgar ways
Oh shit. My bra is undone and I'm pretty sure I peed on my sandal
Randomize
