I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
my phone is set on vibrate and its tucked up in my left front pocket. call me back 20 times real quick.
all i remember thinking as i was puking my intestines out is : wow.. this toilet does look like it's from the future.
were doing shots for every snowflake that hits the ground
Holy shit bill nye is being consulted as an expert on cnn and hes credited as the science guy. What the fuck is the world coming to?
Coming home soaking wet at three am and trying to convince the front desk man that we came from the library might have worked if I wasn't also roaring at everything.
He said i looked like a shooting star sprawled out on the floor while i puked and i kept blaming "senor cuervo" for doing me dirty.
I believe its time to stop celebrating Thanksgiving. I've been drunk for over a week. If my liver doesn't give out, and I'm not pregnant I will truly have something to be thankful for.
Look. I've got things to do today.. Will you hurry up and come over so I can give you some head and get my day started already
Outside
On Wednesday I'm putting wine in a water bottle and crashing Margaret thatchers funeral
xanax give me strength to not ask where we stand with booty calls
I figured if he was OK cheating on his gf with a guy, he'd be OK with me posting his number to m4m Craigslist Ads
Why do we always have to be the people who get blamed for animal intoxication incidents?
I'm a history major and he's the descendant of TWO presidents. Did you really think I wasn't going to sleep with him?
Im so unlucky if I fell in a barrel of dicks, I'd come our sucking my thumb
Randomize
