dude, that girl smelled worse than the great depression.
We found an eightball on the ground last night. I mean, really, who does that?
i'm stoned. there's a jazz trio playing outside across the street...scared that mike myers will appear & start yelling 'woman...WHOA MAN. WHOOOA MAN.' i'm snapping my fingers.
There is no way when we get home that nothing will hapen
is it STILL halloween? when did this turn into a week long holiday
Leaving the phone at home last night was the best decision I ever made.... Though I still managed to text her and now I have 2 phones...
Your beautifulness. Funnyness. Sexy hairness. Coolness. Plus you ask google how far wendys is from your house. Will you marry me
We're pregaming our midterms. Also, when we get our tests back, we're taking a shot for every point we lost. If you're not in, you should just go ahead and transfer.
Also I think he would slowly, painfully, die. You really can't live without a penis. You'd explode.
It's ok that you're screwing someone else while trying to get back with me, I'm banging three girls while I ignore you.
I'd rather just be alone, than deal with this bullshit. I just want to be alone. Cats and vibrators never let you down.
We almost ended up sober because of u!!
If you send me another picture of a donut on your penis while I'm at work, I may have to slap you With the donut.
Let's just wait to see what happens before we start making radical plans and starting fires
how goes living off caffiene and alcohol?
i may have recently shit my pants. on two separate occasions.
Randomize
