Contrary to popular belief, while 19 is an attractive age, it does not equate to sexual prowess.
Like my Aunt Merial always says ... big dicks, big dicks.
Having an 'SDSU Mom' sticker is just like say 'Hi, my daughter has an std"
I just saw the nastiest chick.
Where?
woke up next to her... fuck you jack daniels, fuck you
it was really awkward. it took him like like 2 minutes to realize who he was jacking off to. he stopped mid-stroke. such a small small world
i told you not to try chat roulette
What's he like?
The usual. Sarcastic, dark, full of fucked up emotional problems that result in fantastic sexual prowess.
you cant keep talent like that locked up in a relationship
The bouncer called to give me my shoes back when I got there he said " I'm all cool with fuvking bitches but when you try to to do it in my bar on the pool table you're gonna get chocked out every time"
At least you got your shooes
Can we please get through at least one night out when you DON'T threaten to have sex with one of my parents?!?!
Because you stood over the Ice luge screaming STONE COLD and poured beer on everyone
So never has there been a greater Valentine's Day gift than you actually putting a new roll of toilet paper on for me after using the old roll up! You didn't even use the new roll. You clearly put that on from a gentleman's standpoint vs. a selfish standpoint. I love you!!!!
I yelled kanye while he was fucking me. It just felt right
I have a fantastic sense of humor but being called a merman isn't funny
I need drugs. Hard drugs. Today. Not tomorrow. Today. Something relaxing.
My brother is so high right now he's eating frozen peas and called them "fucking delightful"
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