whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
His moose knuckle keeps winkin at me
thats it. im googling how to make you boobs smaller. this is getting out of control.
I was looking at some smoking pipes on amazon the other day and realized that work people could look at my history and do a drug test. So I immediately started looking at Sherlock Holmes hats.
Correct me if I'm wrong here... but did we serenade each others breasts to "winds of change" last night?
he said i looked like a lion with slutty lingerie on .
I'm drunk on a monday night. Not a good start to finals week
I tried giving you a bj last night and all you could manage was "Haha that tickles" and "in the morning"
Remember my theory about how the universe perfectly unfolds to fuck me? Well, it's at work right now
i still can't believe we survived that barcrawl. the third bar had bullet holes and we still went in.
he referred to his penis as the bashful dwarf from snow white
The door opens out but somehow she managed to kick it in..
Nothing better then waking up to multiple snap stories of people doing body shots of tequlia off of you
I'm gonna do it. I'm gonna write gay mortal kombat fanfic. May the gods be praised for whisky
no dude he sent me cemetery flowers, i know it. they are half dried out roses in the shape of a cross, seriously. and he is not religious. so he robbed a freaking grave site for me. am i like an accessory to grave robbing now??
damnit this is what you get for dating guys with neck tattoos
Randomize
