But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
dinner at cheesecake factory: $40. drinks at yard house: $50. having sex in the VG parking lot while people are staring at you awkwardly: priceless. Goodnight.
I decided you couldn't drive after you asked where the time circuits were on your Altima
I wanted to see November 5, 1985
I texted her sayin "I gotta brush my teethn then Im omw" maybe hint to do the same
Her life must suck. All she's got is "Miss Shamrock" WHICH SHE LOST!
Just walk-of-shame'd past fifteen little girls at summer camp. Take a good look girls, I am you in twelve years.
There is no way I'm taking advice from somone who's idea of a balanced diet consists of vodka and lemon detox juice
Then he wanted a handjob in the car. While my cousin was driving. To krispy kreme. And there was someone else in the backseat.
Jesus...So southern.
Halfway through he got an idea for a short story so he wrote it in magic marker on my boobs. Yeah, he's a keeper.
He has a lot of emotional energy invested in your vagina.
I screamed "I want dick!" in the middle of the intersection. So many hot guys. I wish you were here.
He used Kanye West lyrics to justify what happened and I accepted his logic
I swear the toilet was so cold I tried to stand up but my balls wer frozen to it. most awkward five minutes between me and my mom.
When you accidentally text the wrong guy for a dick pic and your surprised you get one In return. He just got on my "to do" list
You don't come back from leaving a bag of shit on someone's counter Jill
Randomize
