i'm so bored i'm watching porn for fun. not even jacking off or anything. just watching.
I just saw a Puerto Rican child between the ages of 8 and 11 with a faint mustache talking very loudly on the bluetooth in his ear about how "Skittles are played the fuck out"
we fucked to don't stop believing. most epic sex EVER.
I cant even remember his name or what he looked like. all I remember is what the tattoo on his forearm looked like.
well, he kindof looked like a walmart greeter. I tried to stop you
He told me I took off my shirt, asked for the latino thunder and jumped on him. I want to question this but it sounds too much like me.
I got offered a handle of vodka and tomato soup to bring his dog home. He knows me all too well.
Mom just posted ur drunk pix from Cancun in the newly made "My not-so-fantastic son" album. Thought you should know.
Basically I learned last night that if you're too polite people will think it's okay to play with your nipples when really its not even a little okay
So fucking hammered. Is this all spelled right? I'm holding it up to my eye. I am on a boulder. I feel like an owl
I smell like hot dogs and captain morgan it's 11:20 am what is my life
Trying to Jedi mind trick myself into not throwing up. This is not the esophagus you are looking for.
i agree, on both the sex thing and the unrepentant bastard thing
You shouted “im bobby labonte!” In the process of shoutgunning a beer. He said you were too redneck for him...
as a guy is it bad that even my mom called me easy?
So I have three weeks to get rid of his girlfriend and fuck him senseless before he goes to jail
Randomize
