I got an 8 ball and a free entrance pass to the strip club, if i dont get laid tonight I never will.
if im not pregnant im gonna be so pissed for spending the money from my weed fund on the test
wow, a mother in the making
soo how bad was i last night?
licking sour cream off of the table at pancheros bad.
I gave up trying to understand them years ago. Now I'm just trying to fuck them.
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The ideal thing to do next party is to tape my boobs down so they don't knock over the pong cups while playing defense. They came back to hurt us this time
Dad was on the deck drinking straight bourbon. He stopped, puked on his feet, and then continued drinking and talking about compound interest.
Totally forgot we howled at the full moon last night... It's safe to say Tuesday Boozeday is my new favorite day of the week
Laying on a pile of just out of the dryer clothes because this is NOT real life.
i passed out twice in the shower, twice on the bathroom floor, once holding the toilet bowl and 8 times moving from the bathroom to my bed. Tequila sucks.
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Are there any rules against fucking the hot TA?
Maybe for her....
Her problem, not mine
Just for the record, you referenced Harry Potter while complaining about being torn between the Slytherin (lesbians) and Gryffindor (your mostly straight friends) houses (tables)
Haha no we did it on his bed. Then rolled off into the bean bag. It was a strangely athletic performance on my behalf.
First thing I find in the car I just pick up from my grandpa? A discount card for the strip club down the road from his apartment. The force is still strong.
Fuck it, i havent messed around in half a year. I have sexual tension with a fire hydrant.
I think this is the first time I heard a lesbian version of baby it's cold outside.
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