I would like to be the first to explain to you that if you've woken up with bruised knuckles this morning, it's because last night you tried climbing out of our car window and into the drive through window at maccas. The cashier chick freaked out and slammed the window on you and beat you around the head with her headset thingy.
Shittttttt.
Be not ashamed. It was youtube-worthy.
If it wasnt for meatballs I would have fucking killed myself already.
He just used my bikini trimmer to give himself a fumanchu. And I still plan on having sex with him tonight. This has to be what true love feels like.
He confessed to putting dry erase marker dots on my vibrator to keep track of when I "electronically cheated" and then passed out.
Mandatory 420 Adventure Time.
This is why we're friends.
Last time i was there we saw the window of the pizza place we were at get busted, we were pulled out of a taxi to be questioned by the cops, and we peed outside a waffle house. I'm in.
Dude just bought the table 3 bottles of champaign and broke one on the floor as his "signature" and he makes me want this recession hit harder
when my phone is in portrait view you can just assume i've been watching porn. that's the only thing i want to see in full view.
Its 8 in the morning and I wouldn't pass a breathalyzer test, How's your day been?
he's just got his life so together and it makes my pussy wet.
I've got to stop being so hungover that I puke in the fine establishments of this glorious town.
Being on probation is a nice change of pace. It's refreshing to wake up and know what I did last night.
I'm kinda glad you won't be in Vegas tomorrow because you'd make us go streaking or throw dead animals at them.
also I was promised more toga parties by popular media
Glitter fights sound a lot funner in theory.
Randomize
