That girl's pussy is like White Castles, you crave it once in awhile, but you know next morning you regret eating it.
She pulled a cheeseburger out of her purse. I have missed her so much.
i had to do the walk of shame dressed as a leprechaun. I have never been more proud of my irish roots.
I hope my sperm were as drunk as I was.
Are we responsible for the snowmen doing it doggy-style in my front yard?
Thanks for coming to the hospital with me, In return, I will buy you ecstasy.
They sat at the bar while we waited for a table. When the hostess came to seat us, they were shitfaced, and swordfighting wth chop sticks.
Kurt said to text you and encourage you to come out tonight. Encourage you with my rack.
Took me 10 minutes of oral to finally get him hard for like 30 seconds of sex until he came and passed out. Def not worth the ROI.
Funny, 'cause his story is it went great. He faked passing out so he wouldn't have to do anything in return.
COME HERE WE MELTED A CORONA BOTTLE WITH FIREWORKS
Sending out old nude selfies with the message "#tbt"
its the pipe that keeps on giving. Just when I think it's done, I scrape just enough. It's a st. Patrick's day miracle!
He stole my heart. I stole his identity.
you know your booty call is really trying when he offers to pay the toll for the bridge you have to cross to get to his house
Andddddd I'm drunk
Andddddd it's Tuesday
That's your opinion.
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