just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
Dude you can't just initiate a threesome via twitter
u kept pointing at random guys and making quacking or mooing sounds.
making an indian outfit so we can be pochohantas and john smith and fuck in the canoe on the night float
Realistically anyone can come I don't care it's Boston what do I own boston? No. I just don't want people who are gonna give me "why are you doing that" kinda look when I take birthday shots out of my birthday babe shot glass necklace.
The man who lives downstairs is fluent in Russian, and also a playboy. You should meet.
Dad says your scarf isnt fooling anyone and u look like a douchebag, its literally the perfect time to tell him your gay
In two unrelated events today I have had frostbite on my toe and cum up my nose. Who says life stops when you get married?
I feel like the only way to get him to stop is by telling him i'm tired from fucking our other friend every night this week
Thanks for that golden cinnamony goodness that flowed from your fake tits last night haha
Me and my bruised tit have to wake up at 4 AM.
I mean really am I setting up a snapchat when I'm 40 so I can send nudes to my 23 yr old bf? yes, yes I am. Where is my life heading.
That moment when you're in a room with 3 guys and know how big their dicks are. Then you are married to the one with the smallest dick.
He told me that he wants to fuck me only wearing a princess tiara...How could I possibly say no to that?
I just bought a slurpee and condoms. God bless America.
Randomize
