please say your awake. the girl i brought home last night...any idea on a name? she isnt up yet...
I don't smoke a lot but now and then I do. Weed and I are like still standing naked in a bathroom together deciding if we should blow one another or bolt for the exit. An awkward relationship.
that shirt you're wearing that says "officially single" makes me think you'll be that way for a really long fucking time.
I often get tempted to walk up to her drunk ass and say, "shouldn't you be taking care of your kid?"
I woke up with ten beers in my bag that hoarded at the party last night. Rally? Its five somewhere.
there is way too much butter on my body for this to be okay
She needs to learn she only fits into our friendship as a DD.
This is your typical drubkba Amy test. Shout out to jisus for auto correct
Just realized I could have five different dicks in me the day of valentines day but no real date. My life
We were all in the pool and he showed up with a pitcher of margarita. Everyone swam over to him. He poured it directly into our mouths like we were a Sea World act.
Got into Princeton. So excited about the mommy-issue-over-achieving-cock I get to ride the next 4 years!!!
My ex came over to hook up...then I went on a date 2 hours later and got a bj. Single: Finally doing it right.
I knew I'd like her from the moment she supported me messing around with my co-worker on my lunch break
Plus who wants to live somewhere tom jerked off? No one.
I am naked, and drinking straight gin with a flat tonic chaser. I had such greater hopes for myself as a child.
yea...tonic water is fucking gross.
Randomize
