I called her the wrong name twice and she still called me back this morning. DO I still wait two days to call her back?
Alls I know is that his gf looked like Beyonce and he looked like Babar
I think that i just found proof that harry and ginny had sex
Keeping hand sanitizer and lube in the same drawer in the same size bottle = awful idea
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You were playing beer pong by yourself. Finally someone took the ball and threw it into the bonfire. You sat by it, cried, and contemplated how to get it out. For 45 minutes.
He has a really nice penis but its like a model that wasn't built to scale
It took 5 minutes to find my bra.. in his car.
Our logic class started an hour ago, I walked out and found my sister drunk, sitting down, eating m&ms, afraid to walk in... I want her life
she tried to douche with champagne. in front of all of us. unabashedly.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Unless you have figured out how to blow me through the phone don't drunk dial me.
Hey my vagina is like a company. Everyone has an equal opportunity....
I'm drinking vodka out of a water bottle at work. Am I really the best person to come to for life advice?
I just crop dusted the hot FedEx guy delivering my business cards...then asked him "Was that you?" How the fuck am I allowed to be an adult?
I would've fucked Winston Churchill - rode that D like I was going into battle.
Gonna try and have sex in the empire state bldg, will tell you how it goes
Randomize