you threw up in thedumpster behind red robin
and kept yelling "DIRTY BIRD"
Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
Chick took off her bra in the middle of class cuz it was "too hot." How's going out of state feel now?
We were squawking at each other for over an hour like chickens. Literally. Never touching the stuff again and never again showing my face at that Denny's.
I'm pretty sure he's lost all respect for me. it probably happened somewhere around the time i had officially slept with every single one of his friends..
If it's any consolation, your boobs looked awesome.
After we were finished she said "That was like marriage sex". Should I take that as a compliment or insult?
Taco Bell drive through. Chick got out of the car in front of us and threw up on the hood of my car!
Not okay.
I think that "I fucked your little brother" wasn't the best way to introduce yourself.....
Your CAR. Is in a LAKE. I'd say "a big mess" is a pretty conservative description of the situation.
You started drinking at 2:30, did you really think you would be able to remember?
Got a minor my first day of college from the bike police. I'm gonna like it here
He posted a picture from Senor Frogs. I don't remember where that bikini came from and my sombrero is PERPENDICULAR. Safe to say it was one hell of a day
She pinched my nipples too hard I THINK THEYRE GONE
I TOLD YOU ABOUT GOTH CHICKS BRO. I WARNED YOU
Chasing shots with airborne.. Gonna get rid of my sickness and my soberness.
Randomize
