He was all up on my grill like I was having a BBQ. I DONT EVEN KNOW HOW TO USE A GRILL.
What are you wearing to our high school reunion?
I don't know, What kind of dress says "I feel sorry for you people?"
I yelled "Coming in hot." before penetrating. Im pretty sure she loved it.
I wish I could put booze in boobs and store it for later. I wouldn't need a flask. For $7000, they should do amazing things like that.
I'm gonna go out in a limb and say living out middle school fantasies is never a good idea
afterward, he apologized, hugged me, and then gave me a granola bar and said “this is my apology gift.”
stuck in traffic next to occupy boston. smells like patchouli and unshaven pubes
I think ill wear my dads dashiki but make it sluttier. We shall see
i ended up playing naked naked monopoly and hangman with my dealer. i really love my life.
i was in burrito mode and too drunk to move. no fucks were given. none.
I Have a huge scrape on my knee and I need a better excuse than dry humping on a park bench...
I have to go buy generic plan b after work. I don't even leave for the new semester for another 11 days. I think I just leveled up in sluttiness
Is it bad that I'm using the photo I took for my fake ID as my linkedin profile pic?
You know Sunday Funday was a success when 'puke and rally' came at lunchtime on Monday.
Shriek
Smoking a bowl and ordering Dominos, you want in on either, both, or none?
Randomize
