Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
I just set a weed brownie on fire in the microwave.
Successful day.
He doesn't need a wingman, he needs a miracle
I didn't mean to leave you there I just didn't know him well enough to throw up in his bathroom.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I now beleive the Trojan Ecstasy ad "feels like nothing's there". They forgot to add "...cause the condom broke."
we got hammered off table wine and i ended up biting my acrylic nail off so i could finger his butt.. ill never look at valentines day the same
Have you ever tried running while drinking 151?
Meeting girls and telling em you have no hair on your calves is not an acceptable pick up line
I just made an agreement with this milf to shoot her daughters wedding in exchange for blow jobs. Going pro was the best choice I ever made.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
god. I was just thinkin about the fact that there was a time in our life when we didn't drink.
If there's one thing I learned yesterday, it's that if I really wanted to I could be mayor of Toronto.
my poor anus
Hella random but just hear me out...A bar that is a petting zoo. Bitches love petting zoos.
I threw up in my backpack last night, but at least it wasn't in the pizza box again
The taste of regret at 8am, yup that taste is Jack Daniel's
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