you want my honest opinion? I'm sure refering to her vagina as the "bat cave" was your first mistake.
NExt question... Do i wanna sleep under my palm tree
YES.
We were confused who drove until we went outside and her cupholders were torn out of the dash and laying on the ground
$1 margaritas. This happy hour needs to end.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He asked if I smoke and I said "only fools like you on the basketball court!" Then I started crying. I think I'm about to have my period.
Btw before you ask, the dr said there's no way shoving his dick that far down my throat is why i got laryngitis
Once he blows his load, he's more of an immediate flight risk than that jetBlue pilot. He's out the door before his cum is out of my vajayjay.
My new best friend is the drag queen who works at mcdonalds and doesnt judge me during my walk of shame coffee break
you were afraid hed set himself on fire so you dumped a box of baking soda on him
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Anywho, an ostrich attacked me today. Fucking useless pieces of shit birds.
Was having the best sex dream I've had in a while and only woke up when I heard my grandma fall down the stairs.
Yeah, this is not that. This is a father and son bonding moment involving my all of my orifices.
It's still fucked up that my mom let me think Vanilla Ice was my dad for YEARS just because she thought it was funny.
He was tied up with the electrical tape and force fed wine from a box. It was never going to end well.
Tomorrow I'm going to tape my thumbs to my palms and my biceps to my abdomen to learn what it's like to be a t-rex for a day. Anyone else in?
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