If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
I can't go out tonight I need to save my money for important things.....like rogaine and ecstasy.
Don't you ever say "drinking at 2" as if it's a bad thing again. I'm asking you as a friend here.
my dad just said 'either you're lying about your plans tonight or you kids are really lame nowadays'. maybe we should nix the singles saturday slumber party and go to a bar.
You texted the wrong number but that's probably the best call you'll ever make.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
His dick looked like E.T.'s finger. It scared me.
Harry Potter. Singing. Sobering up. In that order.
one night of dollar margs at dinner and dollar beers at the bar later, i am throwing up in his shower and gurgling soap and water to kill the taste of sin in my mouth. dollar days need to stop endng like this.
It'd probably just be a lot of profanity and hyperventilation and deteriorating into tears anyways
so just a regular conversation then
Like did I tell you about the ex Amish guy? Because that was a mess
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I used the phrase "love child of quasimodo and cyclops " in a sentence today.
*tries to be fun and flirty* *literally gets peed on*
He stopped mid-fuck to explain his choice in pillows. HE WAS STILL IN ME!
I'm high on the exercise bike at the gym. I feel like Lance Armstrong
Is it weird that I have your number saved in my phone as baby Jesus?
He just showed up at my house with a giant box of Trojans and a 6-pack of Yoohoo "for a special treat afterwards". I'm in love.
Randomize