R you on birth control?
No, why?
...no reason
They have to be talking about me. I never heard that statement until I was born.
Wine + wine + wine + wine + bud light = puke.
got high and went straight for the Doritos. I'm some kind of walking cliche.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
which bright sisters idea was it to put semi-formal in the middle of no-shave november?
Bathtub guy came to. He helped me roll the fat chick away from the fridge. Shower and breakfast are on. You're plan failed!
So it finally happened last night... I re-met someone that i've already had sex with. Had no idea who he was. Fantastic
Not after That Night. No. I hate tequila. And it hates me. Very mutual hateship going on.
Planning a foam party. Swimsuits are mandatory, and please no granny suits. If you wear a granny suit I will stick you in the corner and put a cone hat on your head.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
As a general rule of thumb, I don't call until the claw marks have healed.
He said he loves me but he haven't eaten me out yet. So I don't think he means it.
I can't sleep. Send Llama pictures.
Well the good news of being walked in on, my mom says your tits are pretty. Then she added that hers were like that once. Fml
My sister and her gf showed up at my door with no pants on at 4 AM talking claiming its hot.
Xanax, wine, and giving the neighbor blue balls. How about you?
Jesus, it’s Tuesday morning! Not back stage with Motley Crew
Randomize