just do him I won't tell jon
um i'm guessing you meant to send this to tina, thanks for the support in our relationship you whore
I think im pregnant
I think you have the wrong number
A good Q tip ear swabbing is better than bad sex.
And then she said we stopped for a train and i tried crawling out the back window.. again, i dont remember this.
I didn't think I could chip a tooth while giving a blowjob until I met him.
I just headbutted my cat because he was trying to eat my bacon.
Its important to me that you know there is a tambourine down my pants.
Unemployment check just came in. As soon as I stop pretending I have morals I'm buying weed. Puff puff pass uncle sam.
WHO INVENTED HANGOVERS WHERE ARE MY CLOTHES
We need a hype man... Like a DMX type dude to just up the ante constantly...
I am the fucking FIFTH wheel. How do you think it's going?
I'm glad we can *facepalm* it together over the married couple we fucked separately.
This bowl is so big, I just said out loud, "I'm going to die here" as I blew smoke out the cat door. Merry fucking Christmas.
From what I remember I had fun, until I threw up, and lost my shoes..
my life is like one bad, slutty lifetime movie.