it was like weight watchers had a halloween party.
a girl just told me i should have been born earlier in the alphabet
woke up in Sigma Chi. In his room. they are iniating pledges right now. Holy fucking shit mother of pearl.
Her dress is practically falling off. It must know I'm here.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it was my 21st birthday. took an old mans walker so i could stay till last call. reasonable right?
Just so you know, a true one night stands ends with a 7 minute blow job after eating a sandwich she made for you while the taxi you called for her comes
...Then she just started hitting me with a loaf of bread.
the only consolation to the fact that i puked in public today was that i did it down a storm drain... so at least i am a responsible public puker
thanks for at least making it out of the pool before you threw up
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just so you know, this text is a buffer between the two guys I'm sexting. Can't get that shit messed up.
If I have to go to the hospital, at least put my pants back on. It's been a fantastic night.
I'm dressed in all sequins still at 9:30 in the morning and the worst part is that I actually still fit in in Vegas
Can I get high for this class every tuesday? Its like a multi-sensory carnival acid trip.
Remind me to tell you about how I hit a tree with my car last night.
I'll be glad to.
All right well I’m making her sugar cookies and sleeping with her husband tonight. Just another manic Monday
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