ya dads aren't the best wingmen
Bea Arthur died yesterday
You shut your stupid mouth
Betty White is next, I just know it.
Betty White will never die! She's like Dick Clark. Rue McCalahan is next.
new low, i just stole money from my 5 year old sister to buy condoms
He famously once noted that women should wear white "like all other domestic appliances,"
id pay someone 5 dollars to tell me whos house im at right now. comfy couch though
Dave a horae rider a coqw boy
I'm doing shots of jagger in dixi cups and making a lesson plan for my 8th grader summer school class. My life is so close to adulthood I can taste it
Well for number 40 i would prefer to at least like the guy attached to the dick
He just took a bite of each taco bell burrito and hid them throughout my apartment. this was 2 weeks ago and have found 30 burritos so far
He ate shrooms at 9:30, said, "see you later," and left. I am alone on New Years.
Come to the roof. We are drinking breakfast.
New guy at the liquor store was inexplicably fascinated by our huge jug of williams. First he said what are you gonna mix THAT with? and looked confused when I said air.
There is maybe 10 hours out of any given day we aren't sober.
death bed.
death patio
stfu you slept on the patio!?!
Why yes, I DID want cramps for Christmas, how did you know God?
Randomize
