so on my way home this naked dude runs right in front me his weiner at half mast screaming i'm only doing this cause its a 50 dollar dare
...i had to draw her a diagram of her own vagina. including a little arrow to the clitoris. shouldn't it be the other way around?!?
is it normal that we went to that class once and both got 100's on the final? ohhhh, arizona state.
I don't want to talk about it but I will say, that was the best two headed $68 blowjob. Ever.
If everything I've heard is true, then she's lost her virginity three times
If you go to the bathroom don't ask why there's diet coke on the toilet. Loller copter. Blow is fun.
She keeps sending, "show me your elephant trunk."
she's a dental assistant. she can get nitrous. kinda looks like a sloppy bucket of fuck. time to take one for the team. NEED SHOTS STAT!!
Thanks for taking care of me. I hope I didn't pee in your car.
Drove by a cop already pulling someone over and toasted him with my bong
It's 4 in the afternoon........
Don't act like you're a victim to marijuana
Well supposedly when the cops came, they say I tried to get them in a conga line like Jim Carrey in The Mask. So....yea
the guy next to you kind of looks like a penguin. i'm going to fuck him
As a side note, can you ask the maintenance staff not to drag their balls on our stairwell handrails. Please.
you said you heard a baby, so i told you to go feed it. you came back 2 hours later with a pizza and when i asked you where the baby went you pointed to the pizza and puked.
Randomize
