Do you think an esthetician would be willing to wax the Chanel Cs into my crotch? That way, whenever a guy gets ready to pound on it I can go "Careful, it's Chanel."
I'm graduating. Then you'll never see me again.
We better fuck soon then
Being a responsible DD does not include attempting to coordinate a 4 taxi caravan to bar #3
Dude you couldnt even talk, you just kept hiccuping and slamming your head on the wall.
YOU CAN'T BASE A RELATIONSHIP OFF A PENIS
I LIKE HIS TONGUE TOO.
he's gonorrhea incarnate
Of course not. I'd be offended if you didn't bring my boobs into casual conversation.
be warned: you might find a baby hampster in my bra
No ambien sex tonight. I just ate two hotdogs with chilli and onions.
She had sex with a starfish painted on her face. Thank you Halloween
Unless he's under 18, in which case you put him back where you found him this instant.
gonna guess the empty vodka bottle and open can of tuna in the bathroom drawer are related?
Who wants to play the "pick up your shit from our floor because you're not paying rent or dating either of us" game?
So I have three weeks to get rid of his girlfriend and fuck him senseless before he goes to jail
man do I wish I knew who this naked guy in my room was...
Randomize
