can't decide if i want to get drunk or coked for this harry potter thing.. it is kind of long
aren't you going with children?
Now I'll never know if Megan finds a millionaire.
grad school is all the worst parts of undergrad, without the binge drinking and bad decisions to make up for it
You told me to hold on because you had to barf like a dinosaur.
It feels like I've shaved away my winter coat and my vagina is going to freeze if I go outside.
we fucked while standing on a ladder. challenging, but worth it.
Does the blue bra belong to your sister or cousin?
so does the 200 for rent and 150 for utilities include the never telling my boyfriend about the guys i bring home.. or is that extra?
we're using his nephews tonka truck toy as a cooler for the beer
so the x-ray technician didnt buy my story of falling off a curb. she said a fall of that height couldnt snap the bone that way. bitch called me a drunken idiot too. if she wasnt so hot i'd be angry
Some guy I've never met before just came outside and started rolling a blunt on our fence and passed it around to all six of us. At eight in the morning. Today's gonna be weird.
By chance and just chance did you find a cock ring? By chance
Omg I literally just wanna sleep with you right now. Like actual sleep. Not sex. Well maybe. But sleep first
Well this guy just went into a detailed lecture about how rinos are developing into unicorns.. It's gonna be a good night.
On another note, I think my upstair neighbor is having sex. How awkward would it be if I showed up to her door with a bag of Chipotle?
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