Tell me I did not drive one hour for whiskey dick.
Im so hungover
Come over i have rolls
Ecstasy rolls or Challah rolls?
Cute you're picking friends over dick. I feel like this is the trailer for a lifetime movie.
nothing like celebrating the fact that you're not a father by trying to impregnate other women
After he came he asked what I was doing for thanksgiving.
Ummm. I just wanna say this now: Don't let me invite the band back to the apartment to see my stripper pole.
Seriously what kind of college town is this? Nobody parties during the week or abuses perscription drugs
The bathroom smells like ribs. What did you do?
Do you remember ripping my condom off last night while yelling "I DEMAND MY MEAT RAW" like a Viking?
I was jerking him off and in two seconds he went from "oh yeah that feels good" to "what day is Thanksgiving again?" and then back again. Like wtf.
I think it's safe to assume that dad heard you lose your lesbian virginity last night
I mean if you can't appreciate a good looking dick then just get out.
I need to calm my uterus...
Thirty seconds is a long time in jizz time...
Im crying watching 9/11 footage eating spray can cheese in my pajamas.
Randomize
