Dude my mom stole all your condoms
the guy I was hooking up with asked me if he could wear a guerilla suit during sex.
I like how she turned her beer into a wet t-shirt contest
my mkouth tastes houw teh zoo smelllls
ok... i just had to be reminded that people in animal costumes were feeding me shots at the bar.
I'd like to bring you 40 virgins and treasure chests of gold to make you feel better
Stand up sex. Extremely, extremely difficult. I now know how pointe dancers feel.
So, were they human bite marks at least?
Your guess is as good as mine.
I think it would be reallllly cool if you took your best friend to work so she doesnt have to have an awkward cab ride with the driver she drunkenly made out with last night ...
Didn't get carded at the bar. We're getting wasted and then walking over to Bass Pro Shops to watch the indoor ducks swim around. And possibly buying a tent.
Im like a saiyan, last weekends hangover will only make me stronger
all I got out of honors convocation is I've hooked up with a lot of smart guys
I'm not trying to take your husband away from you, but can we have another 3way soon? I'm just desperate for good dick.
I didn't even know his name until he texted me the next day and told me I should take a plan B pill. Thanks Danny.
I could hear it slapping against his thighs under the robe!!!!!!!!! You are a lucky girl!
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