it can't be normal that my body odor smells like fries
Its not small because its small, Its small because it was cold outside
surprisingly enough, it isn't that uncomfortable to have sex with a heart monitor on
He stole her cigarettes and walked 15 miles just so he wouldn't have to wake up next to her. God I love being a lesbian.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he just made me do "this little piggy" to his toes.
That doesn't help it make any more sense. Because now you've brought pinata condoms into this.
My mom and dad are smoking a joint while lecturing me on what to bring and how to act in Europe. I'll finish this glass of wine and head over.
Amazing how you can get from "Merry Christmas" to sex in three texts.
I could have done it in 2
He pulled a kid having a seizure out of a car and stayed with him until the ambulance came.
he what???
Not kidding. My ovaries cannot handle this shit...swear next time he'll rescue a bunch of pound puppies and hand them out to lonely orphans.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I cunt my lip shaving. That's not a typo, it's a placement clue
My mom just asked me if I can obtain a fake ID by thursday
I'm so drunk. Liken realign drink
Like really drunk?
Or did you enjoy repositioning your drink?
Goodnight Shia. Goodnight Moon.
I'm sitting at my kitchen table alone dressed as a dinosaur smoking bowls in the dark. Is this rock bottom? Or is this living the dream? Who's to say
this is a mass text: the cage has been opened. repeat, the cage has been opened. a search party will be organized. you are all sloppy bitches. that is all.
Randomize