They wont let us in. Theyve some sort of no Daft Punk costume rule
WHO ATE OUR COOKIES WHAT THE FUCK THOSE WERE GOURMET
Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
It is 3am. I'm at a pizzeria with my 4 friends. The one to my right is throwing up on herself, the one to my left is crying hysterically by herself, the one in front of me is passed out on the table, and the other is trying to find a taxi and I'm pretty sure a guy is sticking his hand up her skirt. Tourists are taking pictures. Help me.
i really need to stop putting makeup on my cats..
All she said was "the usual?" and unzipped my pants.
I'm sober enough to realize she looks like a man, but drunk enough to do it anyways
Puking green right now......... jaimison mcflurry very bad idea
so some random man just messaged me on facebook "tig ol bitties" should i be concerned?
Apparently, we were running around the apartment, singing into pickles, the routinely slapped our passed out friends with them.
The ONE weekend I don't put anything up my nose, and it decides to bleed like crazy
He came over apologized for his lack of sexual skills. Cleaned my kitchen cooked me dinner. And gave me another one minute stand. I think im okay with this
I wouldn't hesitate to give up my job to have regular bowel movements again
I just wiped cum off my face with baby wipes... #momlife
I'm setting goals and achieving them. I'd say I'm quite mature for my age.
You're goal was to fuck him and you don't even remember it.
Randomize
