I am not drunk. I will recite the pledge.
I don't want you to recite the pledge!
Pledge alligien to america to united states of america
Is it bad everytime a fat person orders fraps I want to tell them to slow their rolls
The fact that its 10am on a gameday and I have yet to shotgun is absurd
the bartender cut u off when u asked him for his screename so u could IM him later
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the mechanics of walkigng feel weird right now everyone lools like a demon
what does alcohol mean
You don't understand, we were on a waffle house. Both of us were absolutely certain we passed out at his place then BAM! Waffle house.
I stuck my fake eyelashes to his balls after he passed out.
He was twisted. Literally. It's like God took his dick with a pair of pliers and gave it a half twist to the left.
There is blood on my sheets, we apparently used 8 towels, everything in my shower is knocked down. Wut?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i need some food
Holy shit I forgot about you stabbing him.
Like, she can be the shepard of the gays. Delivering him unto homosexuality.
I don't remember, but I believe your goodnight phrase was "nice meeting you, thanks for not macing me"
HE TALKS ABOUT HIS DICK IN THIRD PERSON ABORT MISSION ABORT FUCKING MISSION
we need to find a way to be drinking champagne 24/7
The fact our science teacher from high school was buying us drinks and hitting on me doesn't matter.
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