now I know why they wanted me to come. apparently gay guys are stripper magnets
We have sex, then we talk about foreign policy. Its a win-win.
But he was wearing a glow-in-the-dark condom. It was like a glowing rod of kryptonite. I can't resist that, kryptonite is my weakness.
Still losing my voice, so I am trying to get it back through drugs. Welcome to my Monday logic.
I'm sorry for gagging during our first time having sex
I was drunk
Please answer
Let's just say that the best way to get a girls attention is not to slap her on the ass from the window of a moving cab.
After last night I think its official. Deep down, we like alcohol more than we like women.
He started tongueing his parfait and told "thats what I'd to your ass" in the middle of Starbucks. Of course i brought him home
Just took acid. Wish me luck.
I worked out twice today and you're dropping acid. My life sucks.
All my friends are going on vacations with their boyfriends while I’m over here in court trying to get a restraining order against my ex....
He told you he loved you. Then you wanted to find a chainsaw to cut his dick off.
you can see where the duct tape was on my nipple
Listen, i know this is weird for you, but as your fuck buddy, id prefer if you didnt fuck her.
Youre asking too much from me
why is half of my head shaved?
Enjoy your early 30’s! You’re still young enough to catch a twenty something that can fuck 4 times a day, hot enough to date forty year old penises that can last long enough to give you multiple orgasms
Randomize
