grinding to god bless the USA? really?
shut up
idk why but i just wanna to have sex with the idea of him. i don't even wanna meet him.
just prayed to lady gaga in hopes it will help me pass my fashion merchandising final...what is my life?
i just recognized the girl sitting across from me from a lesbian porno... should i ask for an autograph?
Your last words were "i'm gonna motorboat the bartender." then you commenced with an attempted motorboat
Supposedly i was taking multiple birth control pills while screaming dot judge me. Never going back
He ate me out on the balcony. My asian neighbors cats are judging me...ALL 3 OF THEM!!
I just realized I turned down a booty call too. To make cheesecake. God help us all
Did he seem like the type of guy that would maybe take weed as payment?
Nvm, he just almost drank his drink from last night, his drink that has the condom in it. Kinda answers my question.
Can we pretty pretty please go to Mardi Gras tomorrow? I promise I'll be a good girl and not puke in a pledges car
Mom just told me I need to start having sex.
I never thought I'd have to apologize for tasting like absinthe and cheetos before tonight
so he's a sleeptalker.
yeah??
"Mitochondria is the powerhouse of the cell" right in my ear. 2 am.
It was a fun night! I woke up with a boyfriend, again....
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