oh, also, we're locked out of the house and we're going to have to take shelter with the hot, poss single, dad next door. i hope this turns into a porno
You keep asking me questions like I have this magical thing called a memory
Should I tell Kevin that my finger was in his sister's ass last night?
and that's when the elephants and penises started dancing on the ceiling
Only your vagina holds the key to what happened last night.
the cops didn't wanna shut the tailgate down but the strippers weren't allowed to take money without a license or somthing
He made me a period mix..should I back out now?
So your brother is gay after all... Just caught him making out with my brother... Apparently he's gay too
The last person that asked me out got pushed down an escalator
Bruh why you gotta judge
You're awake at 3:30 in the morning RSVPing to a musical, I'm well within my means
I made soup. Now I'm having post soup making wine. I had pre soup making wine also.
You let the ASEXUAL teach sex Ed?!
guess who smoked weed with their grandpa tonight. and no it wasn't me.
Shit day. Some kids decided to open my car at 3 AM while I was at work and the alarm went off. I went after them with a sword but they were minors so I didn't kill them.
I should not have moved in with him. He's got porn stashed everywhere like a homosexual squirrel.
You love porn!
Not in the sugar bowl when I'm making my Mom coffee I don't.
Randomize
