it was terrible. i could've done a better job by myself.
we're microwaving frozen margaritas its not the same without u
He just bought a 100-pack of condoms of Amazon. My vagina is already tired.
the last 2 times weve had drunk sex ive had to get the morning after pill.. he's turning into a real expensive fuck buddy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I vomitted in the hotel where they film gossip girl last night. Everywhere.
The irony of calling it Pride is that you do things that no one should be proud of.
I've woke up in his bed 4 out of the past 6 mornings. I feel like this might be the time to learn more about him then his first name and what kind of beer he drinks.
You said that we all need to "head out like a boner through sweatpants and get fucked." Jager night was a success.
The liquor stores are closed! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! CURSE YOU SANDY!!!!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There was this blissful moment of peace and quiet... then you ran past our window with a lit firecracker in hand going, "SHIT. SHIT. SHIT!"
Not a or good or bad impression, just that you were all basically naked playing beer bong in sombreros and ties. Casual.
You realize that if you get murdered while we're talking, I'm gonna have to explain to your next of kin why the last thing on your phone is a picture of my boobs.
Eating pizza in the bath tub while watching a romantic comedy alone. I reached a new level of single.
my gyno just used the expression "dick around." too far?
I'm just going to use my debit card. I feel bad buying pizza with the money I stole from my roommate...so I'm going to put it in my piggy bank.
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