Bank of America: Available balance is $546.25 on 03/04/2011 for account 8428. Go online for details. TextSTOPtoStop/TextHELPforHelp
i loe djcudia fjxos rue.
I'm going to die alone in a sea of empty vodka bottles and cats.
Also, my phone autocorrects ENABLER to all caps. I think I drunk text the word too often.
She acts like a 3 year old but with fantastic tits. This girl is the reason women are objectified
Just beer bonged tequila, broke into the hotel next door and got chased by security. It's spring break
You know what would make this walk of shame even better? Picking up my cap n gown on the way to my car
Got dumped. Now accepting nominations for my extra Dave Mathews ticket. No xboyfriends. Must cast final votes by Monday. Good luck everyone
I had a really bad dream about us drinking this weekend. Remind me to tell you Friday when we start drinking
He tried to tell me that that stripper was his aunt..
I'm only wearing socks and eating tuna, don't do this to me right now.
Do me a favor and scream dirty things at him in a polite sexy, come hither way
I have 3 vacation days left and I'm guarding them like a gay dragon on a pile of gold dildos molded after celebrities.
Smaug the FABULOUS
we went book shopping, so yes this relationship is going to be about more than sex
I only live four blocks from the bar but when you're hammered this walk feels like the journey through Mordor.
Don’t get me wrong—I love silver and bracelets—but handcuffs are not a good look on me…
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