remember facepaint boy? turns out it stains. aaaand i have it all over my face and neck.
Last night I apparently send my boss a picutre of my boobs. On the bonus part I got a raise today. So I just want to thank your parents for naming you Jeff cuz if I was not so hammered last night I would have sent it to the right one.
was it mean of me to chase him screaming "DO YOU EVER WANT TO BE ABLE TO HAVE CHILDREN?!"?
hickory dickory dock, please dont tell me about your cock
I think his glow in the dark Star Wars sheets, at the time, really turned me on.
i just sold back the books i vomitted on
you woke me up just to tell me that I was beautiful in every way possible. Then you proceeded to fall asleep with your mouth on my boob.
You threw a bunch of trashcans into the middle of the street and nothing happened. I fell on one car and suddenly there were cops everywhere...
Is it possibile to sprain your taint?
She was that bad?
most desperate stoner moment might have been when we filled the bong up with pond water
desperate times, desperate measures
It's 4/20 of course I'm going to smoke in the portapotty and be ripped outta my mind at the lung cancer walk.
We exchanged spring break stories last night. Open relationships are the best.
There’s a special place in hell for tall guys with small dicks
I dont understand why i cant be a wizard
saying im screwed is like saying the titanic took on a little water.
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