i'm going to rape that little man
omg not your brother
i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
The words "my birth control fell out" should never be spoken
Of course my walk of shame coincided with the alumni marathon on campus. But, I did get a thumbs up from the woman handing out water.
We woke up under the ping pong table holding hands.
Finally considering to keep my landing strip before I have sex.. I feel like It makes me look mature.
Ssssssssssshhhhhhhhhhhiiiiiiii!iiiiiiiiiitttttttttttttttssssssssssssshhhhhhhhooooooooowwwwwww. Letters for emphaSSIIISISEEEE!
Sitting on the curb by new england comics with a weeping drunk girl who's eating french fries saying she'll never be as successful as her sister the hand model. She's scaring the nerds.
Having to explain to my dad why there are chicken wings to the pool filter, new low.
Wake up we need to beat the walk of shame rush hour
So you told me to remind you that you vomited 3 times in the street because you would forget so here is your reminder
This is ridiculous. I’m in fucking college getting high off a potato.
I know I say this every year but 2015 will be the year I finally have sex with David's sister
I snapchatted him 4 pictures of me as Tarzan's dad so if he never talks to me again at least we'll know why
My mom just asked if I've gotten any girls pregnant how is your day going
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