so that girl updated her facebook status as "had the worst night ever last night"
um, i could be wrong but i think it might've had something to do with mark drunkenly screaming about her unibrow right in front of her
just drove past a church sign that said "jesus got 'er done" ... welcome to the south
I can't remember last night. I must have yelled at your girlfriend til she cried again.
Yup.
my mother and i just seriously had a convorsation about why you cant Google "Refurbished Dildos"
It's sad how good I am at giving people diseases
I just recorded courtney puking and set it as my ringtone.
About to find out how well alcohol and lazer tag mix.
im using the astroglide sample u sent me as a bookmark for the book im using to write my midterm paper. i need to get laid. bad.
I don't want her to kill herself before she gets over me, getting mentioned in a suicide note isn't very fly.
but it's kind of a high honor.
His body is like Jesus fingering me while I eat birthday cake
Your "OraGel will numb anything" theory was the worst thing I ever believed in.
Thats gotta be it. Also just found out that the fireworks will fit in the airsoft pistols...we are all gonna die
Shits getting dirty between us in her dad's bedroom. I'm talking early millennium rap and r&b
Please tell me I didn't send you a dick pic in the middle of Peter Pan..
Hey I'm at the gym and I need your personal trainer help. Also can you send me that picture of me eating a sausage. I want to post it on instgram.
Randomize
