Woke up wearing just a scarf, the holidays are definetly here
I just febrezed the jizz on my pants and wore them again, gross or eco-friendly?
Eco-friendly.
Dude, we somehow need to leave discretely with the toilet brush.
Pre-order weed for 4/20 and i'll give you a discount.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he called you a drunk bob the builder and you proceeded to explain how you were going to build ramps throughout the house
Just saw my father's penis. Don't know what to say.
I was officially considered the drunkest person in cuba when the bartender at the swim up bar made me wear a life jacket for 'safety purposes'
Your a horrible friend, i only tried to do the right thing by moving you off the floor.. that was not an invitation to puke all over my bed and attempt to use my dog to mop it up.
isnt this the same guy you hooked up with on his birthday and he then asked, "you were at me birthday?" the next time you were together?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sarah is throwing up still and I'm eating salad with my fingers
A guy in a gorilla mask got blown on the lawn. And then the night got weird.
This love triangle bullshit is getting out of hand. It's now a love polygon and I want out
Don't shower too much, need the shame to be fresh to get the best story
I only get hit on by people going through their midlife crisis. Yes, I did purposely write that gender neutral.
I visited the library for the first time in my college career tonight and I got laid. I think I'm gonna come back...
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