it sounded like he was fisting a can of crisco.
So we tried to 69 with him on top. NEVER TRY IT. His balls were in my eyes and it was terrifying.
Made a salesman quit his job, a saleswoman cry, and got a manager to half shout "fuck this"....successful drunk Christmas shopping
I always give him head in random places, it's a guessing game for his cock.
Guy next to me is looking up how to press his own ecstasy pills. I'm going to befriend him and see where this goes
DOWN HORMONES. BACK.
I give you full permission to seriously injure me the next time I think it's a good idea to face a bottle of vodka
Oh my lord it is too early in the morning to be that horny freak
my vagina doesn't wear a watch
I'm taking a shit break of discontent as a personal protest
Because sadly the idea of me having a girlfriend is crazy enough to be an April fools prank
He stuck a cigarette in my butt last night. There is no coming back from that.
It's not even noon and I've had 3 people call me a savage, one of them said it in reference to the blow job I gave them. So I guess you could say it's going to be a good weekend
Disregard everything I texted you last night. Oh, and disregard me hooking up with your boyfriend.
My penis definitely considers my Captain Cock costume a success
I'm reading fall out boy fanfic. What has my life come to.
Randomize
