So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
My Hamptons summer hookup resume reads like a walk-in clinic waiting list.
She has an incinerator in her basement. Have you ever incinerated used condoms?
Lmao what?
It's a yes or no question.
I just remembered we said the Lord's Prayer before we went out last night.
If u were an xman, what would ur power be? I would shoot lasers from my boobs.
I dont know how to say this. But the hottest girl where im at has one arm.
Ryan learned the all important lesson tonight; Red Bull gives you wings, Jaeger gives you gravity.
We're at the urgent care down the street from you if you care to stop by
Just peed out a window, not entirely sure it's open. Can't tell. I'll find out in the morning.
Let's get matching tattoos, something that resembles our friendship
A tequila worm?
We need to get fucked up again and play games like "save the tequila but dodge the knife"
I don't mean to crush your hopes and dreams but having sex IN the Stanley Cup isn't possible
He fucked me over, so I'm going to do what any rational woman does. I'm going to get really high and have sex with his brother.
i'd like to schedule a penis for 4pm please.
let me assure you that a rugburn on your forehead is the worst side effect of tequila i have experienced to date.
if I hear Wonderful Christmastime one more time I'm putting my foot up Paul McCartney's ass.
Randomize
