I lost my shoes and bra and was beyond mapquesting
capris are just wrong
its like "what can i possible wear to make myself look short and fat? Oh I know!!"
I have a very awkward question for you. Could you possibly take my black dildo. My mom wants to clean my room.
i have only one word for you: 3somewithnorwegiangirls
tequila makes me forget i have legs
Guess which guy you've blown just made me sandwich at subway?
The guy in the American Flag bikini was telling the women he was disgusted at the amount of alcohol they weren't drinking. Then it got ridiculous.
We ate a mysterious delivered pizza which no one ordered and then the wii wouldn't work so 20 of us watched porn on two laptops. Drunk took the awkward away.
we have to top last new years. except im not ready for jail. that can wait a couple years
I got eye-fucked by an 80 year old man wearing a cowboy hat while I was singing country. How do you think karaoke went?
Let's just say I've never been so continually aware of my nipples before.
I replaced his Viagra pills with sleeping pills.
It's not socially acceptable to be drunk in adult world. That fact makes me die a little inside.
Oh, and one of the worst parts... his name was Mario. I fucked a Nintendo character.
He goes "what would you say if I told you I like to get it in?" def a potential soulmate right there.
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