I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
just saw a girl throwing up in a taco bell nacho cantainor going 60 down the highway
This frat boy drinking a forty and wearing a pussy patrol shirt just ran out in front of my car. I should have used less brakes.
that awkward moment when your booty call gets snowed in at your place.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Penises. Penises everywhereeeeeeeee. Penis ratio is sooo disproportionate. I can't NOT get laid tonight.
I definitely paid for a case and a fifth and all I got was 6 beers and a crown and coke. Wtf. Bar math sucks
You grabbed her hand and started jacking her finger off. She was horrified.
Did it finish?
He's the kind of drunk guy that would pee in your mouth while you give him head.
A nice make out session never hurt anyone. Plus he's a pilot, so he'll know the safety procedures for when the night crashes and burns.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also, I have your check. Also, still wanna drop acid?
The only monogamous relationship I can keep is with my eyebrow lady...
I'm still depressed that I forgot my ice cream at your place
I found a loose wire in my thermostat. Couldn't find the pliers, so I used a nipple clamp to fix it.
Worst wingman u don't do ANYTHING but laugh at my incompitant shyness
In hindsight, maybe rearranging his living room because he has OCD while he was out wasnt the greatest idea. Though it'll keep him busy for HOURS
Randomize