did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
I just got hit in the face by an old lady love handle.
I want to dip my vagina in sugar. Not only will it be sweet, but it will have a nice sparkle.
her roommate was in the bathroom for over an hour so i volunteered to take the dog out and i shit in the bushes
I actually had no interest in him until he started talking about his 4 arrests. That made him go from a 5 1/2 to a 8, easily.
Just got a call from someone claiming to be my son . How do I initiate a conversation. Tell me about the last eighteen years. And by the way who is your mom again?
You kept referring to your penis as "this guy."
You know, be my cock's hype man.
Woke up this morning with a junior police officer sticker over my nipple this morning.
I am expending an amazing amount of energy to not throw up right now
you didn't want to pay for the shots so you negotiated with the bartenders. Apparently 1 shot is worth 5 seconds of motor-boating you.
We're going to work out tomorrow I guess but it usually consists of doing weights for 10 minutes, then saying fuck cardio and going to Taco Tuesday
I jammed my finger giving him a hand job. Don't ask how, I'm still trying to figure that out.
He didn't get how "starting a flash flood in my thunderhole" was a sexy euphemism. Deal breaker.
I woke up to half of the whiskey bottle gone, and apparently I showered in my clothes. Pretty good start to SB2015 I'd say?
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