I haven't seen Daniella all day...are you sure she was safe going home with that guy?
oh don't worry! i asked him if he was a rapist. he said no
I proposed and she said yes man.
You realize the irony of surrendering on independence day, right?
We were busted for public indecency in the back of my car in the parking lot. This time we were just reading my Cosmo magazine.
she just gave her compliments to the chief, at dennys
you should have seen his reaction to my boobs, it was like he just met god
were drug buddies, doing lines off her ass is just a bonus
I just feel like a girl who's never eaten a pb&j probably doesn't swallow
Are we still banned from the library?
Passed out on the bench in the men's bathroom. Feel much better now.
So I found where you barfed in my house. Just wanted to let you know that my cat barfed on the kitchen floor in a show of solidarity
I work nights. I sleep in. I take online classes. And fuck bad bitches. I'd say those are some perks to grad school.
Why even have a ground level apt if you're not gonna let me climb out the window? I hate walk of shaming in front of toddlers...
of course the one day I come to class high we have guest speakers from the police department... Just my luck
It's one PM on a Saturday and I'm sitting here drinking Jack, eating a block of cheese and playing Minecraft. Please tell me you can come drag me to a bar.
I ripped ass in on and around her face during a hard 69. I don't think she'll ever call me again.
Randomize
